dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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