By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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