You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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