she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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