I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize