all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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