oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
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