Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
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