I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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