I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
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It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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