he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize