I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
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You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
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You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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