so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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