She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
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I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
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Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize