I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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