pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize