hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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