Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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