I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
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I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
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I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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