Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize