I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
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I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
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No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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