Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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