Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
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