Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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