don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
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You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
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Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
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