i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
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Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
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If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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