No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Oh god it's open bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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