i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Did you pee in the oven last night??
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize