At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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