ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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