That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
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