I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize