Where did you get a picture of my penis
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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