mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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