Im at strip club and am horny
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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