that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
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the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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