My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize