im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
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i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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