what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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