I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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