My first STD was from a foam party
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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