Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize