Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize