i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize