WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize