Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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