my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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