Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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