my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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