I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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